Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
