He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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