Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
