Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
