Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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