Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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