office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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