Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
