Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
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Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
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I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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