I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
