is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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