Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
