No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
