I love black thongs
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
