Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
