Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
