she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
