i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
