even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
