i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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