i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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