i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
