i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
