I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
