i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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