After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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