Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
