This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
