Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
