why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
