I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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