You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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