i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
