Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
whose ass print is on the piano?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
