You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
