Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
