Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
