How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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