I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
