I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
