think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
do herpes really smell.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
