i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
