you turned your livingroom into a bong?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
