Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
