mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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