I'm jealous of your bromance
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
