so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
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My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
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Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
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