how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
