Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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