Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
