erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Boobs are out for the taking
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
