I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
