just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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