i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
